Happy

I cared about you once upon a time
I wanted to give you my all
Felt like you were my everything
Like you were the one
Loved you so much
Too much
Loved you more than I loved myself
Didn’t completely understand
The feelings
The emotions at the time
Just knew something had to change
Then I realized something
I forgot who I was
What kind of person I was
I was so devoted to you
I forgot to be devoted to myself
No longer could I describe myself
Wasn’t sure about what I liked
Had become accustomed to yours
Everything was about you
How you wanted to be loved
How you felt
Never if you loved me
Never if you cared enough
Now I must break away
Leave you where you stand
It’s time
Time to redefine me
Redefine who I am
How I should be loved
What I need
What I want
It’s that time
Time for me to be
Happy

Quiet Storm⚡© April 5, 2020

100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE….WEEK 5

100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE….WEEK 5

“Choose Your Comparisons Wisely”

Many of our feels of satisfaction or dissatisfaction have their roots in how we compare ourselves to others.  When we compare ourselves to those who have more, we feel bad. When we compare ourselves to those who have less, we feel grateful.  Even though the truth is we have exactly the same life either way, our feelings about our life can vary tremendously based on who we compare ourselves with.  Compare yourself with those examples that are meaningful but that make you feel comfortable with who you are and what you have.

A large group of students was given a word puzzle to solve.  Researches compared the satisfaction of students who finished the puzzle quickly of more slowly.  Students who finished the puzzle quickly and compared themselves with the very fastest students came away feeling dissatisfied with themselves.  Students who finished the puzzle more slowly but compared themselves with the slowest students came away feeling quite satisfied with themselves and tended to ignore the presence of the quick-finishing students.  (Lyubomirsky and Ross 1997)

****100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven

100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE….WEEK 4

100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE….WEEK 4

“Your Goals Should Be Aligned with One Another”

The four tires of your car have to be properly aligned; otherwise the left tires will be pointed in a direction from the right tires and the car won’t work.  Goals are just like that.  They all must be pointed in the same direction.  If your goals conflict with one another, your life may not work.

In a long-term study of subjects over the course of more than a decade, life satisfaction was associated with the consistency of life goals.  Goals regarding career, education, family and geography were each important, and together add up to about 80 percent of satisfaction.  Thee goals need to be consistent with one another to produce positive conclusions regarding goal achievement. (Wilson, Henry, and Peterson 1997)

****100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven

100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE….WEEK 3

100 SIMPLE SECRETS OF HAPPY PEOPLE….WEEK 3

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO WIN EVERY TIME”

Ultra-competitive people, who always need to win, end up enjoying things less.  If they lose they are very disappointed, and they win it’s what they expected would happen anyway.

Richard Nixon was running for reelection as president in 1972.  He directed his campaign staff to take all available measures to win as many votes as possible.  Most famous, of course were the break-ins they staged at Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate building in order to plant bugging devices.  But staff workers also engaged in an endless series of what Nixon himself labeled “dirty tricks.”  They would call up pizza parlors and order a hundred pizzas to be delivered to the office of an opposition candidate.  They would hand out phony fliers telling people that an opponent’s rally had been canceled.  They would call meeting halls and cancel reservations opponents had made for events.  Why did they do these things?  Nixon was obsessed with winning — at all costs.

The great irony was that Nixon was winning anyway and didn’t need any of these tricks.  But his inability to deal with the possibility of losing caused him to pursue these extreme methods and ultimately cost him the prize that he had so desperately pursued.

Competitiveness can preclude life satisfaction because no accomplishment can prove sufficient, and failures are particularly devastating.  Ultra competitive people rate their successes with lower marks than some people rate their failures (Thurman 1981)

****100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven