Dating & Parents

I was recently on Facebook and one of my author friends posted a question that was pretty thought provoking.

QUESTION:¬†So you’re dating this dude and he takes you to meet his mom. She is very nice to you and offers you coffee. Then she sends her son to the store. She looks you in the eye and says, I love my son, but baby he ain’t shit. You should run. What would you do?

When I first read the question, my thought was like so many others. RUN ūüŹÉūüĎü and don’t look back!!! However, I stopped. ‚úč How do I know she’s telling me this because it’s true? Maybe she just wants to get rid of me because she feels I’m just not good enough in her eyes ūüĎÄ. ¬†I mean really what do you do? Either way I’m still thinking “Houston we have a problem!!!”¬†

How can both situations be a problem? Let’s take a brief moment to exam this thoroughly shall we. ¬†As a reminder, remember there are always a few exceptions.¬†

Like I said, my first thought was to run! And not a slow run either. I mean get out of there as fast as you can, run!!! Seriously who wants to be with someone, male or female, who’s parent just told you their child was no good? ¬†Think about it? ¬†Most parents know their children. ¬†Can you see it now? ¬†You ignore her/him and continue to date him. ¬†Three months, six months, or a year down the road and you finally open your eyes and see that the truth was there from the beginning. ¬†You start replaying all the past events and it breaks your heart. ¬†You get angry. ¬†You may even seek revenge. ¬†Is that what you reaelly want? ¬†Again, there are some exceptions to this rule. ¬†Their parents may have ignored them and don’t really know them. ¬†That is an exception, not a rule.

So my second thought was to wait it out and see what happens. ¬†Keep your eyes open of course. ¬†Yet again, I see that as being disastrous as well. ¬†You don’t believe me? ¬†So, the parent is lying all the way around right? ¬†Now you’ve decided to move on. ¬†Things get serious, may even go so far as to get married, who knows. ¬†Guess what? ¬†Most of you will STILL be dealing with that deceptive parent. ¬†You’ll still be dealing with the lies all because they think you are not good enough or you’re interfering with their relationship. ¬†Maybe he’ll take your side, maybe not. ¬†Maybe he’ll act like he is but still not really caring? ¬†Who knows the true future right. ¬†The exception would be he sets her straight and ya’ll live happily ever after. ¬†Do you really want to constantly be looking over your shoulder or always bickering? ¬†I personally prefer my sanity.

Even when I scroll up and reread the question, I still feel the same way.  I would probably end up leaving.  If not right away, but more and likely sooner than later.  I would love to hear your thoughts.  What would you do in this situation?

Week 3 Of Gratitude

Family…

Family is so important. ¬†I’m very grateful and thankful for my family. ¬†They are my rock. ¬†They support all my endeavors even if they don’t always understand. ¬†When I say family, I don’t just mean those though blood, but my close knit family of friends. ¬†Last year was a bit rough and my family, blood and friends, have been there by my side and shown support like no other. ¬†It’s times when you’re down or going through some things you find out who your family truly is.

Definition of Family:

noun
 a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household OR all the descendants of a common ancestor.
When I think of family of course I think of my immediate family and the extended family. ¬†Then I think of my friends that have been by my side like 2 flat tires!!! ¬†Yes I went there. ¬†I have my BFF in Utah, ¬†as well as my close friends here in GA. ¬†These ladies and gents have held me together when I wanted to fall apart. ¬†When I needed to scream real loud or just drink myself to sleep, (that’s only like 3 glasses) they were there for me. ¬†I like to think I’m there for them just the same way. ¬†To loose any of them would be so devastating.
Family is the one thing that keeps me sane when going through some rough times. ¬†When you have someone that supports your goals and visions without really understanding themselves, you have someone that is there for you. ¬†The question is, are you giving that same kind of support. ¬†I love to support those around me. ¬†It’s just as important to support those within your family in even more so. ¬†Doesn’t matter if their family by blood, marriage or friendship. ¬†Support is always the key. ¬†Yes, support, not excuses. ¬†Excuses are just that, excuses. ¬†I see them as reasons why someone doesn’t want to help. ¬†Yes, some of them are truly legit and I don’t ever want to take away from that. ¬† ¬†When I say I plan to do something I do plan to do it unless some unforeseen situation come up. ¬†I expect the same from others too. ¬†One thing I can say about my family, they are always on top of things. ¬†Very rarely, if at all, do I hear the flimsy excuses.
When it comes to family, what does it mean to you?  What do you expect from family?

Growing Up

Growing up……

Growing up for me was really interesting.  Like millions of other kids I grew up as a military kid.  Yep, I took it for granted.  Still it was awesome.  Traveling from place to place, meeting new people, making new friends.  It was great.  Of course, if I knew then what I know now, I probably would have savored a lot more of it.

In my travels I’ve been to some awesome places. ¬†Seen some great things. ¬†Had some life changing moments as well. ¬†I went to so many schools. ¬†One school year I actually went to 3 different schools, 2 state side (different states) and one in Germany. ¬†High school was just as diverse. ¬†Three schools in four years. ¬†My sisters didn’t care for the moving as much, but me, I loved it ¬†I always looked forward to that next move.

Not all of it was great times of course.  My dad being army was gone a lot.  He was also in Desert Storm.  So, some challenging moments of course.  But guess what?  The good outweighed the bad in my eyes.  Adults may have thought otherwise.

I finished my teenage years in a singular location. ¬†Nope, didn’t hate it. ¬†Actually the complete opposite. ¬†Enjoyed it a lot. ¬†Got the chance to really experience being in a place for more than three years. ¬†That didn’t happen until I was about to exit high school and enter college. ¬†I have to say thanks to my dad for that life and my mom for ensuring we stayed grounded. I must say I loved my growing up years. ¬†Roller coasters and all.

Me & Mine

Me and mine…..my family. ¬†We are so similar and yet so different. ¬†I love being around them just to see the difference and how we grew up to be so unique. ¬†Some of you may know I lost my dad in January. ¬†A process I’m still working through right now. ¬†I get that it will take time.

My immediate family is awesome.  Two sisters, mom, niece, nephew and brother n law.  They are so awesome.  No matter what we do, we support each other in those goals.  We may not always agree with them,  but the support is always there.  Near or far, the support is unconditional.

Family really is everything. ¬†Without my family and their backing, never know where i’d be. ¬†Share a little about you and yours.

Children & Parents…The Disrespect

Today I was told some information that really broke my heart.  So I started thinking.  Then I started to remember some things I’ve seen where children just outright disrespected their parents.  This just made me more sad.

It’s really sad to hear how people are treating their parents these days. And they do it for selfish reasons. Nobody is perfect, you only have one set of parents (unless you have step parents of course), don’t do things you’ll regret later, or worse when they’re gone. Many people don’t have parents for various reasons. Some have straight up wicked parents, but majority (I like to believe) love and care for their children, grand children and on down the line. When your children see how you disrespect your parents, they will think it’s okay or the norm, then they’ll be treating you the same way and you’ll be wondering what happened.

I was at work one day and saw a young mother, maybe mid 20s, with a little boy, about 5 or so, as they were shopping. The boy wanted some candy, you know how that goes right? Momma said no and it went back and forth a few times. The boy, yes the 5 year old, said “I hate you b***h”. Me being who I am stood back to watch. I just knew he was about to get the spanking of a life time. My mouth hit the floor when the mother picked up the candy and bought it for him. What is that teaching? Here’s the sad thing, I’m seeing it more and more.

Why do parents allow their children to start that disrespect at such a young age? Then we see it as they get older it gets worse. Don’t get me wrong, I understand growing up, teens will always have some disagreements. Still just outright disrespect, no.

What makes me ill is the grown child that doees that same crap. Your parents have raised you. In some cases, half raised your kids, and you ignore them because you can’t get your way. You all of sudden think you are better than them. You believe you have the right. Think it’s okay to treat them the way you do. I’m here to tell you, it’s not okay.

After I heard everything today, I felt compelled to call a family member. I’m so glad I did because it seems they needed it.

I wholeheartedly believe that when we listen to our parents or help our parents we will be looked upon favorably. We have to do better, it starts with us. Each and every one of us.

Holiday Cooking

The holidays mean a out of different things to different people. However the one thing that is consistent is the cooking. No not necessarily the food itself, but the act of cooking.

No matter your beliefs and opinions when it comes to spending time with family cooking is almost always involved. Now some might be like me, not a huge cooker. I can cook but don’t like to cook. I rather someone else take the lead in cooking the meals and I add a side dish or two or even dessert. I love baking, so I’ll hook up a dessert or a special punch or something. Then you have others that are big time cookers. They throw down the whole meal. You know the ones from the appetizer to the dessert and sometimes the mixed drink too.
Now what a family have for these special moments can have a huge range depending on a number is factors. Some of these factors include: beliefs, where the live, family traditions, personal likes and dislikes, can financially afford (to name a few).

For me, holiday time and cooking really is a time for me to relax and have fun with my family. With the busy lives we all lead, this time is so precious. So, if means I need to cook something, then I will.

There is no right or wrong way to do holiday cooking. Sure some may want the traditional dinner for thanksgiving that includes the turkey, ham, dressing, pies and football on the side. LOL. Others may break away from that tradition and have a barbecue instead. Still others may prefer not to cook at all and go out to eat. Whatever you do, however you do it, enjoy the family time you have while completing your holiday cooking.

When it comes to your holiday cooking, what are some of your traditions?