“Confidence” by Sharice Rogers

“Confidence”

By Sharice Rogers

 

Confidence – How to Build Yours

 

Confidence can be defined as a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of their own abilities or qualities. As we all are created with certain talents and gifts. Talents and gifts are our birth right which can be classified as such i.e., intellectual, physical, artistic, and so on. One person can have multiple gifts and talents, yet it depends on what you gain satisfaction from, that will usually dictate which talent or gift (passion) is developed and shared with others. When you spend effortless time perfecting a craft, that’s where your passion lies. Nurturing your passion to it’s potential of being appreciated by the public is the place where confidence is born. Confidence is that place where purpose meets creative potential. Being able to experience public appreciation from others for creating something from your very own vision warrants a sense of fulfillment that’s exhilaratin. Being able to share with the world your exclusiveness and have people embrace your gift can do no more than breed belief in oneself.

To experience conviction in your craft you must be willing to spend time finding out what drives you intrinsically; what satisfies you when you’re alone and there’s no one applauding you. What speaks to your heart? What reflects your authentic self. It’s when you’ve reached that place of “knowing” that your confidence awakens. Once you’ve nurtured and produced your original product that’s driven from within that internal authentic place you are now taking that ride of assurance and balance that some never get to experience. Some never get to experience such pleasure because they exploit their gift by depending on acceptance and approval from temporary satisfaction; such as applause, acceptance, and first-class treatments. Not to say that any of these things are pointless because they are not, but they should not be your mission because they are all external factors of which you have no control. You will rarely feel anxious or pressured to produce your product when you’re purpose driven. However, there will be times that you’ll have those feelings but not too often if you’re producing from the position of determination.

Confidence should come from a purpose driven place within oneself or else it can be short lived because purpose should come from that gratifying place of doing what you love. Being intrinsically driven means that you have control of what you present to the world because you’re connected to the process. When you take control of your craft and don’t allow applause, material, and status to be your driving force, but allow those external things to encourage you to do more. Receiving acknowledgements versus being purpose driven have separate rewards.

Let’s say for example you’re on a mission to get in shape because you just experienced a bad relationship breakup and your self-esteem is wavering. You achieve your desired goal and you’re feeling good because you’ve now accomplished the “how you like me now” factor of rubbing your new figure in your ex mates face. Once you have achieved this external gratification of seeing their disappointment what will be your inspiration to maintain this accomplishment? Will you no longer have the drive to keep that figure up or will you continue in the lifestyle that supported the deed? The more you exercise self-love without placing so much weight on external validation your confidence will grow, because you placed more accountability on self-growth as opposed to outside acknowledgement; ultimately, you’re empowering yourself at the end of the day.

There are many factors that can attach itself to our identities that can cause self-doubt, procrastination, and fear. Just consider the media for one; so much of who we are can be compared to the lifestyles of the rich and famous because the portrayal is that these individuals have accomplished “the American dream”. Is there only one facet of the “American dream” or can and should we be allowed to manifest our own dreams and aspirations. I raise this question from the place of authenticating oneself. Also, I raise this question to highlight the potential of compromising your purpose should you neglect spending time on finding out what your vision of happiness looks like. Be willing to dream and envision what will sustain your joy during your journey to success. Your destination should look different from someone else’s to some degree. Aspiring to achieve your greatness can be achieved by following your idol, but there should be some variances that reflects your individualism. Confidence grows from the place of identifying with who you are, and what you are, and why you are in existence.

There are parts of everyone that should not be compromised and we all should practice responsibility of setting boundaries around maintaining ourselves in the face of opposing factors that attempt to poke at our core values. Our foundation of truth depends on protecting our worth, therefore we should be mindful of the people, places and things that we choose to entertain. That old saying is that “too much of anything isn’t good for you”, there are some guilty pleasures we all entertain from time to time, I’d say just be aware of balancing those pleasures out with your other stuff so that you don’t start idolizing factors that could cause you to compromise the standards that your substance depends on for stability. You’ll know when you’ve over indulged because you should eventually be jolted with guilt to some degree. Another part of learning oneself is listening to your gut when it gives you that shot of angst out of nowhere, that’s the universe speaking to you that something is off; it becomes your responsibility to keep still and quiet and spend some time getting back on track with living from your core.

Life is a gift when we treat as such. We come to this world packaged and wrapped with a bow and as we untie our bow a blooming should take place. The flowers will bloom, and our smiles will burst with laughter as we share our uniqueness one with another. Our worlds become colorful and desired to be experienced. Let’s be willing to experience our better selves so that we all get to indulge in the unveiling process of infinite growth which breeds confidence.

 

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Photography Tips Series 1

I want share a series of photography tips. I’m not a know it all, as I’m still learning from some awesome photographers. I’m always learning and always welcome new information. These are the first five of many tips!

1. Gather as much photography information as you can. You can never know too much. If you need a cheat sheet, buy one. Or better yet make catered to your needs!

To begin with your career in photography at the right path, you need to gather more information about it first. Gathering information would provide you guidance on the right steps that you need to take. In other words, the key is research, research and more research. You’ll be doing research even after you’ve started your business. Researching can be done through the internet, talking to professional photographers, as well as reading some books about the subject.

Me personally, I taken a course or two. I also have a few mentors. They are so awesome. Did you know you can learn from people starting out just like you too? How? It’s simple really. Remember you’re different. You learn at different stages, you remember things differently. It stands to reason that even though we maybe technically on the same beginner level, they understand something way more quickly than you, and vice versa. You may also have different specialities where you can help someone else. Above all, keep yourself willing and ready to be taught and to teach.

2. Purchase the digital camera that you want. Even if you are still at the starting point of your photography career, it is best to purchase the type of digital camera that you really want. You should purchase something that can provide you with the kind of pictures that you want. By using a camera that provides quality photos, you would become more motivated in taking more pictures with it, even if you are still trying to learn about it.

For me personally I wish I had done that. While the camera I had was great at taking pictures, it was a point and shoot. Knew it wasn’t what I truly wanted, but to took care of my basic need to train and teach myself. Don’t get me wrong, it was one of the point and shoots I’ve worked with and produced some excellent pictures. Still, I believe had I waited a tad bit longer I could have gotten the one I eventually did get, or one very similar. At any rate, I do still have that one. Makes for a great back up and a light load for specific outings. So get the one you really want.

A photographer whose work I’ve grown to live and admire posted about this very topic. When he said that I reflected back on what I did. Man, if only I knew then what I know now.

3. Invest in a tripod. Having a tripod can provide you with lots of benefits, as far as taking pictures is concerned. It is one of the things that you need to invest on, in order to have quality landscape shots. Aside from that, it would also help you in taking glorious pictures of sunset or sunrise. A tripod comes in handy many times. Plus it’s truly needed for those times you need that long exposure.

I know my hands can get shaky as it is, but you want me to stand still so there’s no blur. Yea, no, hats not happening. When you’re purchasing a tripod it’s important to get a durable lightweight one. If you’re anything like I was staring out, you maybe tempted to take your tripod everywhere. Your speciality may require. My recommendation is to never go without having a good tripod.

4. Time your shots well. Timing your shots well is one of the keys in taking beautiful pictures. This is actually one of the reasons why some professional photographers would suggest beginners in the field, to make use of filmed cameras at the start. This is because, using such types of cameras can help a person develop a good habit in timing and choosing his shots, due to the fact that the film limits it.

This I agree with on so many levels. While I’m still working on this, I completely understand the value and importance of using a film camera to time your slots. I’ve never had a SLR film camera, but I have taken numerous pictures with film cameras and Polaroid cameras. I’m not into wasting film, so I was very cautious in taking my pictures. Timing was everything. Great timing is the difference between an okay picture and an great picture!

5. Don’t hesitate to try new angles. There is always a tendency for a beginner to stick with taking pictures of their subject head on. If you are doing that, you may be preventing yourself in finding the best angles. Thus, it is a good idea to try out different angles first. Try to taking the picture from the top or from below. By doing that, you can have different perspectives of the scene.

I’ve seen photographers get into some wired positions to get that perfect shot. I love angles that are unique for specific images. I’m always trying different ones, using buildings, trees and other things to help with different angles and viewpoints. Dare to be different.

I hope these five tips help you out. I’ll be back to share more soon!!!

“Why Relationships Don’t Last” by Sharice Rogers

“Why Many Relationships Don’t Last”

Relationships are based on the way in which two people regard or behave toward each other. There’s a base word in relationship, which is “relate”. Relate is defined as to make or to show connection between. For two people to have instant regard for each other, there must be some consistent consideration extended to each other’s positions. There should be enough attention to or concern for one another’s interests, concerns, and wellbeing. We should function in a state of mindfulness that reassures our partners that they are special to us. There will be times when a difference of opinion might spark a standoff of morals and values that challenge the foundation of a person’s existence. At such moments as these anxiety and opposition presents itself; and its how we communicate in such intense moments that will dictate the longevity of the relationship. Opposition derived from passion between two people that project different position culturally, religiously, or demographically will expose the core values and beliefs of each person; which can be a very sensitive place for both people. Our tough spots are revealed in such times as these, however I believe this is where patience, humility, and grace is born. Because if you can deny yourself for the sake of something bigger that you (relationship), you get the opportunity to extend love and experience love on a higher level than lust could ever provide. When you value someone or something enough you will nurture and protect it with high regard. Always remember, if your union warms your heart, gives you a sense of existence and glow, and encourages hour growth; then its worth some sacrifices such as patience, humility, and grace. Henceforth, you can’t be in a relationship by yourself so when you find that special someone or should they find you, be willing to lose some of yourself so that you can gain some of that special someone else.

To maintain a sense of regard in a relationship, certain factors should exist. For one you should have some common interests, common goals, and common beliefs. Without these factors, your relationship most likely is built on tangibles such as looks, money, and status to name a few. Tangibles are usually those things that meet the naked eye and can be experienced instantly. We can experience sex, fine wine, diamonds, and the finest of clothes in very short time frames without any knowledge of each other’s core values, last name, or shoe size. This experience has the potential to be short lived once the thrill of the tangibles fades. Meaning there’s not much value in tangibles unless you have the intangibles to match them. Intangibles are those things that you can’t touch or grasp, nor do they have a physical presence. Intangibles include things like confidence, class, virtue, standards, and values. As you have probably noted by now, intangibles outweigh the tangibles in the pursuit to longevity of a relationship. If your goal is to grow old with your mate you’re better off starting off with conversation about who you are, why you are, and where you are in life. To some this might sound boring; but I’ll take boring over heartache any day. Focusing on what kind of car the person drives or how attractive they are before focusing on what type of value system they live from can be a very messy experience. Women we must stand for self-respect and virtue when dating because you’re only going to experience that person to the degree of what you project and the boundaries you set up front. Be willing to explore and to be explored. Meaning ask questions, take walks, be simplistic, laugh and enjoy the little things that life offers us. It’s when the pretentious nature is void that the true nature prevails. Let’s get back to the basics of dating without selfish intentions. Be willing to allow the universe to take part in the process by being just, and honest, and pure. There is no amount of money that can buy true love which is the ultimate experience life offers in a relationship.

Relationships depend your ability to relate to each other, because its what’s going to keep the ship sailing through the calm seas and the high tides. As things get turbulent and they will at times it’s usually to test your growth and solidarity. Most of the time we usually have what it takes to navigate ourselves back to the shore of harmony and bliss; it just depends on our core values of how strong the foundation we’ve built. If the foundation of your relationship is built on material, presentation, and status your happiness will ride the waves of tangible access. Should the foundation of your relationship be built on intangibles such as morals and commonality then your relationship will be refined in the fire, just as a diamond shine so will the carats of the value in your relationship. We must remember that, if we want to attract quality, we must acquire our own. Spending time in your own world getting to know your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your gifts and talents, and so on will allow you to walk with confidence in yourself, you will have no problem setting boundaries and having standards that project your worth. As black women, today we are presented in the media as trophies and possessions and we can change that one by one. Wake up, show up, and show out, with virtue, and articulation, poise, and grace. Let’s make our ancestors proud because they worked hard to get us to the table, all we should do is occupy the seat. Should there not be a seat at the table for you then the opportunity is there to set your own table. You must know who you are to tell someone else, you should be who you are so that society can experience your uniqueness. No one can perfect your craft without your vision, you must be willing to show up in your life and live it so that you’re not mistreated or misunderstood. You must breath life into your own existence before you can expect someone else to share theirs with you the more each person brings to the table the longer the feast will last.

More about Sharice:

I am a native Washingtonian who love to write. I journal and I write poetry. I desire to write my first book soon.

My blog address is Kre8tive17.blogpost.com and my Domain is Kre8tiv I can be reached here and inboxed on facebook at Sharice Rogers

“Illicit Thoughts” 

I woke up in the middle of the night

Reached for you

Turned over expecting to see you there

To know that it wasn’t all a dream

But reality was there

All too real

You were gone

Actually had never been there

Only in my thoughts

In my dreams

Sighing I close my eyes

Bringing the images back to the fore front

Embracing the feelings

Of a time lost

Wishing to have a do over

Knowing I can’t

But really want to

No

No

No

Those illicit thoughts battle

Back and forth

With my conscience

Pick up the phone

Put it down

Pick it up

Put it down

Thoughts pulling

Begging for a release

Even if only temporary

Which will win this battle

Hormones or brains
Quiet Storm ⚡ © June 2017

Book Review (Undisclosed Desire 3)

Book Review📖

“Undisclosed Desire 3” by Falon Gold

The third installment of the series was pretty good. I was really looking forward to see what Cameron was really about. He seemed very interesting meeting him in book two. I was also wondering how the author was so this one differently than the other two. When I tell you she did that, she did that!!!!!

When Cameron reveled his plan and contact my mouth hit the floor. That was very new. At least for me. I enjoyed how show wove this story. She made both characters very stubborn and it added humor to the story. I absolutely loved how we knew what Amari conscience was saying throughout the book. Our conscience typically plays an important roll in the decisions we make daily. So to be able to distinguish her thoughts from the conscience thoughts were nice to see.

This book showed you that people can change, but they have to want it. A great life lesson. She also showed that you can’t force love. Great job on adding the life lessons.

Overall it was a well told story that flowed great with the first two books.  

Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Standing By You”

The things I want to say

Want to do

Can’t fully be expressed by words

The hurt

The disappointment is real

You say the struggle is real

I’ll take the struggle any day

Over this indescribable feeling

Emotions that plague 

The brain

The heart

Can I just scream

Will the emotions away again

Push them to the back

Act like they’re not there

Everyday

Every single day

Another chip falls off

More pain

Less caring

More heartache

Less love

Causing Steel 

Or acid to form

Making me feel more alone

Feeling alone but not lonely

Who to lean on

Where to go

No one understands

No one cares

Still here I am

Standing by you

Trying to love

Trying to care

Deep down I cry for me

While smiling for you

All because I still value you

Every day I switch roles

Step up to the plate

Simply because 

It’s not always about me

Denying myself

When in reality

I need to deny you

Time to ride solo

Time to refill my cup

To pour into me

I can no longer give to you

To pour into you

Until I’m fed and recharged

Today is your turn

Stand by me
“Quiet Storm” © June 2017

Book Review (Loving Montie)

Book Review

“Loving Montie” by Shani Greene-Dowdell

Hopefully you have read the first three “Breathless” books in the series.  If not, you should, you’re missing out.  Although this book is about Montie who is Destiny’s ex-husband, all the characters we love or love to hate is back in this one!!!  First let me say this, I’m soooo glad Montie found love!!!!!  While he wasn’t my favorite person, he wasn’t a bad person.  This book dug deep into Montie and showed you he really is.  Love really makes people go out their way.  For me, Montie went above and beyond to please Destiny.  While, personally, I think Destiny asked for WAY too much of Monte.

Shani took us back to “Secrets of a Kept Woman”.  Monte’s new love interest, Lissa, comes forward in this book.  We also get to see Shayla too.  Of course nothing is ever that simple.  Justine is in the picture too and continues to wreck havoc for all involved. I was glad Montie was able to push past her issues and the issues with Destiny and move on.  He didn’t get weak (at least not yet) and go back to Destiny and all her issues.

Overall this book was an excellent read.  A great continuation of the “Breathless” series.  For me it was a fast read.  Characters were real and showed great emotions.  Shani continues to get better.  Great job Shani!!

Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This was actually harder than I first thought, still I was up for the challenge!!!

1. Love martial art movies
2. Love baking when time allows
3. Enjoy teaching and training
4. Love kids, but don’t want to have any, maybe I’ll adopt
5. Enjoy playing board games
6. Hate packing, but love unpacking
7. Enjoy history…..especially when seeing how it connects to religion
8. Don’t care for clothes and food shopping rather shop for gadgets
9. Enjoy putting furniture together
10. Enjoy crafting
11. Don’t like most reality shows
12. I play the old school Nintendo games
13. I get motion sickness in a car more than 2 hours long. That’s why I sleep or drive
14. I’m a die hard football fan (Dallas Cowboys & Atlanta Falcons)
15. Love the rain (real rain, not the white noise rain)
16. Love going to school
17. I am co founder and president of a book club (SBS Book Club)
18. I am a movieholic
19. Like to have pictures hanging
20. Like to dance even though I can’t. Lol
21. I like getting stuffed animals
22. I’m very shy, but working on being an extrovert
23. Enjoy challenging myself
24. I set realistic yearly goals that I work on daily
25. My inspiration comes from life
26. Make me mad, you just might end up in a book, and not in a good way. LOL
27. I enjoy giving back
28. I absolutely love running my own businesses
29. Enjoys adopting a solider in order to support them on their missions.
30. Have published 8 books. “A Piece Of Me”, “Sexual Seduction”, “Road of Emotions”, “Lustful Passion”, “Tales Of A Trio”, “Seductive Pleasures”, “Best Of Both Worlds”, and “Captivated Moments”

Dating & Parents

I was recently on Facebook and one of my author friends posted a question that was pretty thought provoking.

QUESTION: So you’re dating this dude and he takes you to meet his mom. She is very nice to you and offers you coffee. Then she sends her son to the store. She looks you in the eye and says, I love my son, but baby he ain’t shit. You should run. What would you do?

When I first read the question, my thought was like so many others. RUN 🏃👟 and don’t look back!!! However, I stopped. ✋ How do I know she’s telling me this because it’s true? Maybe she just wants to get rid of me because she feels I’m just not good enough in her eyes 👀.  I mean really what do you do? Either way I’m still thinking “Houston we have a problem!!!” 

How can both situations be a problem? Let’s take a brief moment to exam this thoroughly shall we.  As a reminder, remember there are always a few exceptions. 

Like I said, my first thought was to run! And not a slow run either. I mean get out of there as fast as you can, run!!! Seriously who wants to be with someone, male or female, who’s parent just told you their child was no good?  Think about it?  Most parents know their children.  Can you see it now?  You ignore her/him and continue to date him.  Three months, six months, or a year down the road and you finally open your eyes and see that the truth was there from the beginning.  You start replaying all the past events and it breaks your heart.  You get angry.  You may even seek revenge.  Is that what you reaelly want?  Again, there are some exceptions to this rule.  Their parents may have ignored them and don’t really know them.  That is an exception, not a rule.

So my second thought was to wait it out and see what happens.  Keep your eyes open of course.  Yet again, I see that as being disastrous as well.  You don’t believe me?  So, the parent is lying all the way around right?  Now you’ve decided to move on.  Things get serious, may even go so far as to get married, who knows.  Guess what?  Most of you will STILL be dealing with that deceptive parent.  You’ll still be dealing with the lies all because they think you are not good enough or you’re interfering with their relationship.  Maybe he’ll take your side, maybe not.  Maybe he’ll act like he is but still not really caring?  Who knows the true future right.  The exception would be he sets her straight and ya’ll live happily ever after.  Do you really want to constantly be looking over your shoulder or always bickering?  I personally prefer my sanity.

Even when I scroll up and reread the question, I still feel the same way.  I would probably end up leaving.  If not right away, but more and likely sooner than later.  I would love to hear your thoughts.  What would you do in this situation?