First let’s start be defining rejection. Why? For some reason many people don’t really understand what a rejection is.
REJECTION: the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc.
We’ve all been rejected at some point in life. Most, many times. If you claim you haven’t, then you my friend need reevaluate the definition of rejection. However, this isn’t about you, or the next person, it’s actually about me.
As I prepared to write this, I thought back to some of the rejections I’ve received and some I’ve issued. Let’s be real, rejections of any kind can be heartbreaking.
Yet, I sit here flipping through my 40+ years of memories trying to find a few that may have more significance than others.
The one, or you may say two rejections that hurt the most was the breakup of my ex finance. Which lead to rejection number two years later. I should have learned the lesson the first time. The breakup was so bad, I couldn’t even work that day. My supervisor told me to go home. I cried for hours and hours. The worst part? He was deployed at the the time. How did I handle it? I prayed and meditated. I was already beginning to allow hate to build and it wasn’t even 24 hours. That could not happen. I had to remember who I was. After all another person can’t define who I am. When I decided to let go, I let go.
Yes, I heard from him throughout the years. I still got excited to hear from him. It was almost fifteen years before I physically saw him again. Yes, I was giddy then too. We had a surprisingly good evening when I was in town. We talked, cleared the air. He reminded me why he set the bar back then. Still I knew, there wouldn’t be no “us”. I was okay with that.
Years later, years again. This time I reached out to tell him about my dad passing. This was the beginning of the next huge rejection. He was there and not there. Was excited to have him working with me. Until, the day he called me his sister to the chick I despised most. Okay, hated the most. I didn’t even qualify for friend or ex. Yea, some would have been okay with that, but I was pissed on a whole different level. Let’s just say it’s been 5 years since we spoke. With that rejection, I lost every bit of feeling I may have had. If I see in the building I feel nothing. No love, no hate, no anger, nothing.
I think those two moments were the worst. I’ve been denied jobs, rejected by other guys, nothing had me feeling like those two moments. So how do I do it? How do I handle being rejected?
For me, it’s a thought process. If I didn’t get the job, why was I going to stress over it. I moved on. If a guy didn’t like me, that’s his loss, not mine. If someone didn’t want to be friend, it’s cool. If they didn’t want to buy my product, I’m okay with them not being in my target audience. I’ve said all that to say I just brush it off. I refuse to allow another person or situation to make me feel that bad again. Don’t misunderstand what in saying. Don’t think I don’t put my all into it. If you’re my friend, then I’m a friend. I just don’t stress those that don’t want to be in my circle. I don’t stress those that don’t think I’m capable. I just show them otherwise.
Rejections in any form is not fun. It hurts regardless of the importance. Just don’t allow it to be all consuming. If you need help handling it, go to a trusted friend or family member. If necessary, get a professional. Under no circumstances should you allow the rejection to define who you are and what you do next!