By Sharice Rogers
Confidence – How to Build Yours
Confidence can be defined as a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of their own abilities or qualities. As we all are created with certain talents and gifts. Talents and gifts are our birth right which can be classified as such i.e., intellectual, physical, artistic, and so on. One person can have multiple gifts and talents, yet it depends on what you gain satisfaction from, that will usually dictate which talent or gift (passion) is developed and shared with others. When you spend effortless time perfecting a craft, that’s where your passion lies. Nurturing your passion to it’s potential of being appreciated by the public is the place where confidence is born. Confidence is that place where purpose meets creative potential. Being able to experience public appreciation from others for creating something from your very own vision warrants a sense of fulfillment that’s exhilaratin. Being able to share with the world your exclusiveness and have people embrace your gift can do no more than breed belief in oneself.
To experience conviction in your craft you must be willing to spend time finding out what drives you intrinsically; what satisfies you when you’re alone and there’s no one applauding you. What speaks to your heart? What reflects your authentic self. It’s when you’ve reached that place of “knowing” that your confidence awakens. Once you’ve nurtured and produced your original product that’s driven from within that internal authentic place you are now taking that ride of assurance and balance that some never get to experience. Some never get to experience such pleasure because they exploit their gift by depending on acceptance and approval from temporary satisfaction; such as applause, acceptance, and first-class treatments. Not to say that any of these things are pointless because they are not, but they should not be your mission because they are all external factors of which you have no control. You will rarely feel anxious or pressured to produce your product when you’re purpose driven. However, there will be times that you’ll have those feelings but not too often if you’re producing from the position of determination.
Confidence should come from a purpose driven place within oneself or else it can be short lived because purpose should come from that gratifying place of doing what you love. Being intrinsically driven means that you have control of what you present to the world because you’re connected to the process. When you take control of your craft and don’t allow applause, material, and status to be your driving force, but allow those external things to encourage you to do more. Receiving acknowledgements versus being purpose driven have separate rewards.
Let’s say for example you’re on a mission to get in shape because you just experienced a bad relationship breakup and your self-esteem is wavering. You achieve your desired goal and you’re feeling good because you’ve now accomplished the “how you like me now” factor of rubbing your new figure in your ex mates face. Once you have achieved this external gratification of seeing their disappointment what will be your inspiration to maintain this accomplishment? Will you no longer have the drive to keep that figure up or will you continue in the lifestyle that supported the deed? The more you exercise self-love without placing so much weight on external validation your confidence will grow, because you placed more accountability on self-growth as opposed to outside acknowledgement; ultimately, you’re empowering yourself at the end of the day.
There are many factors that can attach itself to our identities that can cause self-doubt, procrastination, and fear. Just consider the media for one; so much of who we are can be compared to the lifestyles of the rich and famous because the portrayal is that these individuals have accomplished “the American dream”. Is there only one facet of the “American dream” or can and should we be allowed to manifest our own dreams and aspirations. I raise this question from the place of authenticating oneself. Also, I raise this question to highlight the potential of compromising your purpose should you neglect spending time on finding out what your vision of happiness looks like. Be willing to dream and envision what will sustain your joy during your journey to success. Your destination should look different from someone else’s to some degree. Aspiring to achieve your greatness can be achieved by following your idol, but there should be some variances that reflects your individualism. Confidence grows from the place of identifying with who you are, and what you are, and why you are in existence.
There are parts of everyone that should not be compromised and we all should practice responsibility of setting boundaries around maintaining ourselves in the face of opposing factors that attempt to poke at our core values. Our foundation of truth depends on protecting our worth, therefore we should be mindful of the people, places and things that we choose to entertain. That old saying is that “too much of anything isn’t good for you”, there are some guilty pleasures we all entertain from time to time, I’d say just be aware of balancing those pleasures out with your other stuff so that you don’t start idolizing factors that could cause you to compromise the standards that your substance depends on for stability. You’ll know when you’ve over indulged because you should eventually be jolted with guilt to some degree. Another part of learning oneself is listening to your gut when it gives you that shot of angst out of nowhere, that’s the universe speaking to you that something is off; it becomes your responsibility to keep still and quiet and spend some time getting back on track with living from your core.
Life is a gift when we treat as such. We come to this world packaged and wrapped with a bow and as we untie our bow a blooming should take place. The flowers will bloom, and our smiles will burst with laughter as we share our uniqueness one with another. Our worlds become colorful and desired to be experienced. Let’s be willing to experience our better selves so that we all get to indulge in the unveiling process of infinite growth which breeds confidence.