“Why Many Relationships Don’t Last”
Relationships are based on the way in which two people regard or behave toward each other. There’s a base word in relationship, which is “relate”. Relate is defined as to make or to show connection between. For two people to have instant regard for each other, there must be some consistent consideration extended to each other’s positions. There should be enough attention to or concern for one another’s interests, concerns, and wellbeing. We should function in a state of mindfulness that reassures our partners that they are special to us. There will be times when a difference of opinion might spark a standoff of morals and values that challenge the foundation of a person’s existence. At such moments as these anxiety and opposition presents itself; and its how we communicate in such intense moments that will dictate the longevity of the relationship. Opposition derived from passion between two people that project different position culturally, religiously, or demographically will expose the core values and beliefs of each person; which can be a very sensitive place for both people. Our tough spots are revealed in such times as these, however I believe this is where patience, humility, and grace is born. Because if you can deny yourself for the sake of something bigger that you (relationship), you get the opportunity to extend love and experience love on a higher level than lust could ever provide. When you value someone or something enough you will nurture and protect it with high regard. Always remember, if your union warms your heart, gives you a sense of existence and glow, and encourages hour growth; then its worth some sacrifices such as patience, humility, and grace. Henceforth, you can’t be in a relationship by yourself so when you find that special someone or should they find you, be willing to lose some of yourself so that you can gain some of that special someone else.
To maintain a sense of regard in a relationship, certain factors should exist. For one you should have some common interests, common goals, and common beliefs. Without these factors, your relationship most likely is built on tangibles such as looks, money, and status to name a few. Tangibles are usually those things that meet the naked eye and can be experienced instantly. We can experience sex, fine wine, diamonds, and the finest of clothes in very short time frames without any knowledge of each other’s core values, last name, or shoe size. This experience has the potential to be short lived once the thrill of the tangibles fades. Meaning there’s not much value in tangibles unless you have the intangibles to match them. Intangibles are those things that you can’t touch or grasp, nor do they have a physical presence. Intangibles include things like confidence, class, virtue, standards, and values. As you have probably noted by now, intangibles outweigh the tangibles in the pursuit to longevity of a relationship. If your goal is to grow old with your mate you’re better off starting off with conversation about who you are, why you are, and where you are in life. To some this might sound boring; but I’ll take boring over heartache any day. Focusing on what kind of car the person drives or how attractive they are before focusing on what type of value system they live from can be a very messy experience. Women we must stand for self-respect and virtue when dating because you’re only going to experience that person to the degree of what you project and the boundaries you set up front. Be willing to explore and to be explored. Meaning ask questions, take walks, be simplistic, laugh and enjoy the little things that life offers us. It’s when the pretentious nature is void that the true nature prevails. Let’s get back to the basics of dating without selfish intentions. Be willing to allow the universe to take part in the process by being just, and honest, and pure. There is no amount of money that can buy true love which is the ultimate experience life offers in a relationship.
Relationships depend your ability to relate to each other, because its what’s going to keep the ship sailing through the calm seas and the high tides. As things get turbulent and they will at times it’s usually to test your growth and solidarity. Most of the time we usually have what it takes to navigate ourselves back to the shore of harmony and bliss; it just depends on our core values of how strong the foundation we’ve built. If the foundation of your relationship is built on material, presentation, and status your happiness will ride the waves of tangible access. Should the foundation of your relationship be built on intangibles such as morals and commonality then your relationship will be refined in the fire, just as a diamond shine so will the carats of the value in your relationship. We must remember that, if we want to attract quality, we must acquire our own. Spending time in your own world getting to know your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your gifts and talents, and so on will allow you to walk with confidence in yourself, you will have no problem setting boundaries and having standards that project your worth. As black women, today we are presented in the media as trophies and possessions and we can change that one by one. Wake up, show up, and show out, with virtue, and articulation, poise, and grace. Let’s make our ancestors proud because they worked hard to get us to the table, all we should do is occupy the seat. Should there not be a seat at the table for you then the opportunity is there to set your own table. You must know who you are to tell someone else, you should be who you are so that society can experience your uniqueness. No one can perfect your craft without your vision, you must be willing to show up in your life and live it so that you’re not mistreated or misunderstood. You must breath life into your own existence before you can expect someone else to share theirs with you the more each person brings to the table the longer the feast will last.
More about Sharice:
I am a native Washingtonian who love to write. I journal and I write poetry. I desire to write my first book soon.
My blog address is Kre8tive17.blogpost.com and my Domain is Kre8tiv I can be reached here and inboxed on facebook at Sharice Rogers