A Father’s Day Birthday

The closer we get to June, the more anxious and temperamental I get. Yes, I not only recognize it, but also working on it.

Not only is Father’s Day in June, but my dad was born in June. June will be six months since I lost my father. Yes, it’s been a roller coaster of emotions and feelings during this time.

I know grieving is a processes. I also realize that I deal with it by staying busy. I did it when my grandmother passed, and anyone that knows me, know I’ve been awfully busy recently.

As I try not to allow it to get to me, or let it show, I can see I’m only delaying the inevitable. I’m skipping steps in the process. I know this because there are things I avoid doing to avoid the emotional release. Or at least that’s the way I see it.  Explain? Sure, no problem.  The largest piece of evidence is the fact that I haven’t been to his grave. I want to, need to. However, I can always find a reason to wait.  Then there is the small stuff. He bought this specific water and I can’t find it in myself to drink the last bottle.  I have other things to remember him by, but I just can’t drink that water. It’s weird. It is what it is.

How will I react on his birthday? I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll be plenty busy since it’s a work day. Father’s Day…again, who knows.  I’m treading in uncharted waters as well as my sisters, mom and other extended family members. What I’m grateful for is the family I have to support each other.  I’m also thankful for my close friends that provide that shoulder to lean on.

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4 thoughts on “A Father’s Day Birthday

  1. Mashawn…you have the strength within you to conquer whatever the world will throw at you, remember God never promis it would be easy, He just promis whatever it is He will take us through it….🌹❤️

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  2. When I got to the bottled water part I had to stop reading and just think. I can definitely imagine having something that belong to someone that I loved and not wanting to let go of it. That is perfectly normal, and endearing. You will go through the stages in your own time. I’m here if you need me. Your good friend, Shani

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