There was an article on Friends with Benefits (FWB). The writer mentioned how having a FWB was harder than a regular relationship and she still haven’t fully recovered from that. I know everyone has their own opinion, so here is mine.
Let’s just say it worked for me!! Both parties just need to know their role. I think just like the lady, a lot of people catch feelings because of a change of heart. Some, not all, also don’t speak their mind until they’ve allowed the feeling to grow deeply. I’m a bit more cautious, the first sign of a change I’m doing a temperature check to make sure we’re on the same page still. It’s not something I recommend because of those feelings.
I’m just saying, you can’t be the mushy type to have a FWB, you’ll stay getting hurt. Have to know yourself. If I’m in a relationship then I’m all in. No ifs, ands, or buts. FWB, you have to check those feelings. If I start to feel you and you not feeling it, why keep up charades? It’s time to bounce at that point. My worst breakup was my ex husband, not a freaking FWB. LOL Know your role.
MOST of the time at least one person isn’t clear about about what they want from the beginning. They think they will eventually change the person. That almost never works either. That’s one of the worst mistakes ever. That’s the worst hurt I’ve seen yet. I’ve seen people go into serious depression over that. Then go from depression to anger. Really? You can’t get mad because his feelings haven’t changed. If there is an action or some words that leave you confused as to the feeling of the other person, A-S-K! It’s better to know than to assume and end up hurt because of a misunderstanding.
A FWB is just that. A friend with mutual benefits. You can’t stake a claim in that relationship. You can’t question my moves, what I do and who I see. That’s crazy. If you want a relationship, be honest and say it. If you set the expectation of a FWB and your feelings change, be honest. If you don’t you only have yourself to blame.
Let’s not get this misconstrued, yes, I’ve had a FWB. Why? Because I was at a point where I didn’t have the time, nor the drive for a full relationship. He understood because I laid it out there. It’s amazing because to this day, we are still friends without the benefits. Yes, WITHOUT, the benefits. And yes that is possible.
Some people misunderstand what a FWB. It’s not just the benefits (sex), but also the friend part. Friends hang out and do things together that friends do. They just get the added benefit of the occasional rump in the sack. Being friends allowed me to continue to be friends without the benefits.
All and all…stay away from it if possible. If not, then be honest about it from start to finish. As I said before, know your role.
This is my take on FWB, what are your thoughts?